The White Moth

When on a silent meditation, I woke up on the fourth day and headed to the meditation hall for the 8 am service. The cold, damp autumn was upon us and as the line of practitioners streamed up the muddy hill, I noticed hundreds of pristine, paper-like, white moths trapped in the mud, succumb to death. As I walked, I watch the moths disappear under the shoes of the person in front of me. I struggled in the moment to make sense of it all. Had it been real? Had we all just unknowingly killed all of these beautiful creatures? I wanted to scream but I couldn't speak. 

During mediation, I tried to focus on my practice, all the while contemplating the end for so many. Upon the end of my practice, I bolted outside to assess the damage. Stuck in the mud were numerous tiny moths, so many, no longer even visible. I frantically searched for survivors, a way to redeem the integrity of the retreat, after having taken a vow to not kill any living thing during my stay. And then finally... there is was! A single white moth moving in the mud. I scooped the moth onto my hand, allowing for its wings and limbs to dry in the cool, damp air. And then I gently set the moth down on a rock beneath a tree. Tadasana ... a new starting point to continue the journey.

The Yoga Sutras state, “There are a number of predictable obstacles (1.30) that arise on the inner journey, along with several consequences (1.31) that grow out of them.”

As your inner journey unfolds, it often leads to relationship consequences.

First comes the uncomfortability of others around the new you.  And at first you think…. “It must be them.”

But soon you realize, no … it’s YOU!

You’ve changed. And not for the worse… but for the better.

And somewhere inside, you realize that because of the yoga, you have released a part of you that no longer accepts the conditions around you. You are willing to release that which is not serving you. 

But you struggle with the new you ... getting comfortable in your new skin.

But rather than completely give up on others, or give up your old life ... you assist by throwing them a life line ... out of love or selfishness … probably a little of both ...  trying to convince them to work on themselves, in the hopes that they can show up bigger and still be present in your new reality…. as you continue your inner work.

But the reality is the journey is theres. 

You can make a horse walk to the water, but you certainly can’t make them drink it.

Just like I could save that single white moth from death in the moment, but the reality is, eventually the white moth would succumb to the harsh winter weather. 

And with blind faith, the white moth will move on to the next journey.

Did my life line for the white moth even help or did it cause more pain? 

So I contemplate this around the 4 relationship consequences I have encountered since evolving into a deeper yoga practice. I struggle between wanting to throw a life line out to those around me to bring them along on the journey or resist the temptation by letting them have their own journey. 

4 Relationship Consequences of Yoga

 The Brick Wall: These relationships completely resist the notion of yoga and the notion of the new you. They see your practice as a fad and they find excuses to avoid you.

The Town Tryers: These relationships distance themselves from you and are in a state of trying to keep the relationship together. They are trying to take their own journey but are stuck in the stories of their own lives.  

The Full of Possibilities: These relationships don’t completely understand the changes you are going through but are inspired by your efforts. They start to tap into their own greatness in their own way. They show signs of being willing to come apart in small ways.

 The Carpet Riders: These relationships feed off of your energy and as they patiently wait and watch on the sidelines, one day, the shell cracks open and they are diving into their own possibilities. They are willing to hop on your carpet to join in the journey or they get on their own carpet ride!

So the question is ...

Do you pick the white moth out of the mud? 

Or do you allow the moth to succumb to the laws of impermanence? 

 Life is short, so get messy!