The White Moth

When on a silent meditation, I woke up on the fourth day and headed to the meditation hall for the 8 am service. The cold, damp autumn was upon us and as the line of practitioners streamed up the muddy hill, I noticed hundreds of pristine, paper-like, white moths trapped in the mud, succumb to death. As I walked, I watch the moths disappear under the shoes of the person in front of me. I struggled in the moment to make sense of it all. Had it been real? Had we all just unknowingly killed all of these beautiful creatures? I wanted to scream but I couldn't speak. 

During mediation, I tried to focus on my practice, all the while contemplating the end for so many. Upon the end of my practice, I bolted outside to assess the damage. Stuck in the mud were numerous tiny moths, so many, no longer even visible. I frantically searched for survivors, a way to redeem the integrity of the retreat, after having taken a vow to not kill any living thing during my stay. And then finally... there is was! A single white moth moving in the mud. I scooped the moth onto my hand, allowing for its wings and limbs to dry in the cool, damp air. And then I gently set the moth down on a rock beneath a tree. Tadasana ... a new starting point to continue the journey.

The Yoga Sutras state, “There are a number of predictable obstacles (1.30) that arise on the inner journey, along with several consequences (1.31) that grow out of them.”

As your inner journey unfolds, it often leads to relationship consequences.

First comes the uncomfortability of others around the new you.  And at first you think…. “It must be them.”

But soon you realize, no … it’s YOU!

You’ve changed. And not for the worse… but for the better.

And somewhere inside, you realize that because of the yoga, you have released a part of you that no longer accepts the conditions around you. You are willing to release that which is not serving you. 

But you struggle with the new you ... getting comfortable in your new skin.

But rather than completely give up on others, or give up your old life ... you assist by throwing them a life line ... out of love or selfishness … probably a little of both ...  trying to convince them to work on themselves, in the hopes that they can show up bigger and still be present in your new reality…. as you continue your inner work.

But the reality is the journey is theres. 

You can make a horse walk to the water, but you certainly can’t make them drink it.

Just like I could save that single white moth from death in the moment, but the reality is, eventually the white moth would succumb to the harsh winter weather. 

And with blind faith, the white moth will move on to the next journey.

Did my life line for the white moth even help or did it cause more pain? 

So I contemplate this around the 4 relationship consequences I have encountered since evolving into a deeper yoga practice. I struggle between wanting to throw a life line out to those around me to bring them along on the journey or resist the temptation by letting them have their own journey. 

4 Relationship Consequences of Yoga

 The Brick Wall: These relationships completely resist the notion of yoga and the notion of the new you. They see your practice as a fad and they find excuses to avoid you.

The Town Tryers: These relationships distance themselves from you and are in a state of trying to keep the relationship together. They are trying to take their own journey but are stuck in the stories of their own lives.  

The Full of Possibilities: These relationships don’t completely understand the changes you are going through but are inspired by your efforts. They start to tap into their own greatness in their own way. They show signs of being willing to come apart in small ways.

 The Carpet Riders: These relationships feed off of your energy and as they patiently wait and watch on the sidelines, one day, the shell cracks open and they are diving into their own possibilities. They are willing to hop on your carpet to join in the journey or they get on their own carpet ride!

So the question is ...

Do you pick the white moth out of the mud? 

Or do you allow the moth to succumb to the laws of impermanence? 

 Life is short, so get messy!

Put Your Greatness Out To The World, Despite the Doubters

When you put your greatness out to the world and you encounter doubters ... keep moving forward!

A few weeks ago, I announced to fellow committee members who I co-manage a Community Supported Agriculture, or CSA, group with in my home town, that I would be moving on next season to start a new CSA. Four years ago, I manifested creating a CSA in my community. Besides desiring fresh organic produce, one of my other intentions was to learn the ropes and apply those skills into forming a new CSA closer to my own community.

For those of you who don't know, a CSA is a relationship between a community, a local farmer, and a landowner to allow for city residents to have direct access to locally grown produce. Community members purchase shares from the farmer, who cultivates and harvests the land, providing fresh produce to members for approximately 22 weeks, distributing it at a designated site in the community.

After the devastation of Hurricane Sandy and reaffirming my manifestation of forming a CSA upon completion of my Baron Baptiste, "40 Day Program", I finally put it out there. I put it out to the universe that I wanted to start a CSA in my community.

After sending that message out, I got more than I bargained for.
Not only was I forming a CSA in my own community, I was also forming a CSA in my neighboring community... just because the universe was calling for it.

Yes... you heard me correctly... 2 CSAs for the 2014 season.

And I was EXCITED!!!

I was excited that the site owners heard my presentation and saw the communities desire!
I was excited that the farmer was supporting my potential to get this started!
I was filled with gratitude that the core people in my life were so supportive!

But last week, when I showed up to pick up my produce, I ran into a few committee members and I ran right into their fear. They said:

"Two CSAs? That's a lot of work."

"How are you gonna run two of them?"

"You're gonna need a lot of help. Are you sure you wanna do this?"

And for a split second, doubt streamed in.

I felt the knot of doubt in the pit of my belly. I saw it as clear as their words. And as I breathed into that knot, it unraveled. I filled that space with love for myself and for my community. And as quick as the doubt had rushed in, I swept it out with love, answering them in the following way:

"I am not afraid to lead a group of people to their greatness. Besides, it's a community group. If the community really wants this, they will support it by showing up and contributing to the CSAs mission. I am excited!"

And in that moment, I retrieved not only my excitement about starting these new CSAs but I redeemed my greatness!

I was not going to let words of fear, doubt, and negativity shoot my greatness down before I even got started.

Shifting fear to excitement has always been a concept I referred to in the yoga classes I teach and it is something I continue to practice in my life. In that moment, I was aware that this concept truly works. In that moment, I was powerful, determined and yes, filled with excitement.

In that vain, I keep teaching, I keep living, I keep writing, and I keep showing up.
And I show up BIG!
Even if people are fearful of my work.
I keep showing up fearlessly.
And I keep moving forward...

Life is short, so get messy!

If you live in Staten Island, NY and are interested in participating in a 40 Day Program, contact 5 Boro Power Yoga. 

If you live in Staten Island, NY and are interested in joining one of the two CSAs forming, join us for a community meeting on October 16, 2013 or email us at SouthShoreCSA1@gmail.com. 

If you are interested in forming your own CSA, read my BLOG on MIND BODY GREEN: 
HOW TO START A CSA (It's Easier Than You Think!)