So I Am Going to Be 40...Now What? (Part One)

So I am going to be 40... Now What?

With a few months to spare, I went on my quest to figure it all out.
Right away I assumed I needed to celebrate 40 in a BIG way to make it more meaningful.

So I contemplated jumping out of an airplane.
But as I got closer to my birthday, I realized that wasn't what I truly wanted nor what I needed. I have done excitement and adventure my entire life. Besides, skydiving was something that my husband has longed to do...someone else's 40th Birthday celebration.

So I contemplated climbing Machu Picchu.
But as I got closer to my birthday, I realized that it wasn't what I really wanted. It was actually something my friend had experienced recently, perhaps her own 40th Birthday celebration. That mountain is BIG...but is BIGGER really better?

I reflected.

What I discovered was that I needed to see things as they really are.

I need to be in inquiry with myself, to get really clear on who I am and how I wish to see myself in the next part of my life. Somehow, I need to take the lessons that I have learned from the past to transform myself into the person I want to be moving forward.

Then I ran into a friend of mine who told me about Vipassana.
This spiritual escape would give me the opportunity to pause, be introspective and see the true person I am to be.

Vipassana was on par with lessons I have learned about myself like needing the things I am most resistant to. Meditation is one of those things I believe people resist most because it is often to painful to look at the true self absent all of the fillers of life: technology, aesthetics, descriptors, labels, etc.

But if I don't take this time now.... then when? When will I take the time to step back and examine the life I have written for myself thus far? For if I am to live the story I want to read, I need to know what my story is still missing.

It's time...to take the leap... to climb the mountain... to sit with myself.

So... today I am traveling, 17 days before my 40th Birthday, to partake in a silent meditation.
To look inward so I can project myself outward in a meaningful way for the next 40 years!

I will hold space for myself and honor stillness in my life for an extended period of time with no expectations other than to see clearly.

I will remove myself from my current life for 10 days, detachment from the world as I know it; away from technology, family and friends, my asana practice... all to gather in a spiritual place, using an ancient Indian meditation technique, joining with others who seek the same inner peace.

To quote an unknown blogger:

"It's time to let go and start over. It's time to move on from the past to the future. It's time, not to forget memories, but to learn from them and become someone new. It's time to take a new path, to walk alone and to find ourselves to know where we have to go. It's time to begin again, not by changing who we are, nor by forgetting who we used to be, but by combining both of these people and transforming into who we were always meant to be". -  i'mclosertotheedge

See you in the second part of my life.

SILENCE...

Life is short, so get messy!

If you are interested in participating in a Vipassana, seek out available programs worldwide at http://www.dhamma.org. To read more about my Vipassana adventure, read "So I Am 40...Now What? (Part Deux)" when I return.